BLOG

Today's been a pretty weird day. Did some stuff, got splattered with ancient homemade tomato sauce that still looked and smelled like it was made 2 days ago on me, the usual. Really, it's been weird because I'm writing this at like 9PM and it already feels like a late night. Like it's pushing 3AM and I haven't looked down at the clock yet. I kind of like the silence, though. It's something I've become more attuned to wherever I can. Those moments that ground you and pull you out of your own brain, or just out of the cacophany around you. It's not like I can't be left alone with my thoughts, because I'm comfortable with that. Really, my brain feels like it's always moving at a million miles per hour. It's nice to slow down. Especially with the next semester just around the corner, I want to let go of the bullshit. I know that I'm competent when I have to do the work, whatever that work happens to be, and if I'm not, I know what to do about it, but I'm going to stop kicking myself every step of the way. Taking notice of the thoughts that brew. Et cetera.

I also wanted to put here about my feelings about DCI 2026, because holy SHIT the shows this year have been AWESOME. I honestly have no idea what happened to the love that I have for the activity over the last few years, because I have a feeling that I hadn't really thought about it at all until this summer. Now I'm here wishing that I had watched them in person! Either way, I'm just so stoked about it again, and it's just such a good feeling to be reunited with a long untouched interest. I honestly forgot about DCI for about a month until the day after finals where I finally remembered. But yeah, SO many of them are just ON FIRE. Bluecoats, Blue Devils, Blue Stars, and even some corps that don't start with Blue! (Crown, SCV, Cavaliers)(!!!!!) I haven't watched the Cavaliers show yet but I really want to soon. All I've seen are the uniforms and that awesome little promo photoshoot they had at the beginning of the season.

As I get older, I realize that I need to prioritize and hold fast to the hobbies that I want to keep with me. Of which, there are indeed a lot. I'm grateful for it, but I've got too many of them! (oh my god i mentioned this in "burnout"!!! little behind-the-scenes note of that song for ya!) Part of that has been picking up the horns again. Just to play for the sake of playing. You do get rusty when you don't touch them. It'd been about a year since I last played the trumpet in an ensemble. Yesterday I gave it a bath! Cleaned the gunk out of it. And it rewarded me, I played so naturally, like I did back then. It was awesome. Still gotta clean the French horn though.

For the longest time I've been using Obsidian for notes for pretty much everything; worldbuilding notes, journaling, random places to braindump since I weaned myself off my storage server (because Discord is a fuck). I've used Obsidian Sync for like... a year now? Only now realized I couldn've gotten a discount for being a student?

Either way, I'm writing to record a tale of triumph! i finally got syncthing working.

Took way too long and it was just because of Windows Security blocking access to the folder because I didn't whitelist the program. Yay. I'm writing this because this was genuinely such a pain in the ass that I spent way too many hours on trying to resolve. Also this is a reminder that there are solutions for nearly anything that doesn't require paying a subscription. I'm an adult, some day I'll have my own place, some day I'll have bills to pay, so I really wanna nip shit like this in the bud. I hate subscriptions. And I looooove Soulseek...

Also a reminder for myself because I just remembered as I went to type this, I really oughta make a Nepeta shrine... soon...

Testing out this feature now and I really can't believe how long it took me to do this. A lot of big changes since the last time I've touched this site. Things are better, finals over, passed everything! Woohoo!

I think it's really funny how I'll consistently think that I'm absolutely screwed until I realize I never was to begin with. Last semester taught me a lot, but I feel like one of those things is to just trust the process. I'd tell myself I knew that already, but I really didn't. I had a lot of projects, a lot of work, a lot of other things going on in the background, and yet I'd come home, or walk into the campus library, and the first thought on my mind would be about the next thing to worry about. I think I spent more time worrying than working, spent more time staring at empty VSCode screens rather than writing the damn code.

I remember back in the winter there was this picture I saw going around of the "high agency triangle", and I feel like I still need to ingrain that into my being. (Also, it looks like the guy who wrote that tweet is a chud). Either way, what I'm saying is that I'm tired of that feeling, I'm tired of always feeling like I'm always doing something wrong. I feel like I've made some progress; forgiving myself more, saying sorry less.

And so, I'm not gonna apologize for waiting so long, waiting so long to post, waiting so long to update this site, waiting so long to touch Blender again, waiting so long to release the album! If I got back all the time I've wasted feeling bad for myself, I'd have made twice the progress I've made over the past 9 months. Gotta start somewhere.

Meow. :3

Been getting into 3DS modding lately... Today I resoldered my charging port after it got detached from probably years of wiggling the charging port and I felt like a damn genius... A few weeks ago I replaced the circle pad of my 3DS XL, and then noticed the camera shat the bed! Naturally, I made that the literal second repair I've ever did on a 3DS. Replaced the whole camera. Worst part is threading the ribbon cables through the tiny little chunnel in the hinge. Masterful engineering to how they fit all of that in there, though. No proper tutorial for replacing the camera on the old 3DS XL specifically, just random YT videos, iFixIt, and a dream. Felt like a genius when it was over. I am Jevil Deltarune I can do anything. Anyway, I'm still thinking about how much soundhax just looks like black magic when you run it. Shit's awesome.

Yeah maybe I should make a blog page if I'm gonna have stuff this big to write about... save it for tmrw it's 2AM already...